I still remember always wanting to go 'out' for my under graduation. I knew I was going to leave Kolkata. I had the confidence in me, that I would have no problem what-so-ever in adjusting with anyone and anywhere. :) After school, Xavier's Mumbai did not happen for me. I was quite upset. Bangalore was calling but I ignored the call. I decided to stay back in Xavier's Cal. Initially I hated it. Imagine sitting in a horrible yellow classroom in the evening while the rest of Kolkata (the normal people) have finished their respective classes / work and are getting ready for their evening pass-times. Simply disgusting and unfair.
Believe it or not I somewhat miss being a Xaverian. I miss the canteen, the library, the sports room, basketball practices, Delights, the Xerox shop adjacent to delights, Classic Stores to name a few. I surely made some uber cool friends no doubt.
Now I am in Mumbai. I wanted to be here so desperately 3 years ago. Few days ago when I actually walked into Xaviers to attend my lectures, I thought to myself how unbelievable this was. I so wanted to be a part of this and now I actually am. The canteen is great . People in my course are fun. Made friends (been quite stuck up though). Nevertheless I am proud to be in Xavier Institute of Communications (XIC). I am now a Xavierite. Happy ? Ofcourse I am.
If something has changed after joining Public Relation and Corporate Communication, it is definitely my PR skills and socialising nature. Its like it has gone missing. I hardly socialise.I know people of my course ONLY. I know most of you reading this wont believe me but its true.
Mumbai made me realise how much I miss Kolkata. There is no place like home. As a child this statement did not mean much when I watched The Wizard of Oz but today it makes so much sense to me. Where is that confidence? What happened to that ‘socialite’? I think its all back home- in the ‘City of Joy’.
Hey...your confidence & the socialite is right there with you, let her out. We'r all in this together, & am sure we all feel something's lacking at this point. It'll all be good , give it some time..you'll miss being a Xavierite too ;).
ReplyDeletePus you're a good writer, wonder why you'r not confident about it. I totally liked it.
Thanks SHubhangini. <3
ReplyDeleteThat's pretty heavy! I know it's a bit tough leaving your hometown when it's all you've known your whole life but try and savour the new experience. Life's short, enjoy the moment. Don't go around with the baggage that you're a socialite and pr queen and it won't bother you anymore. You'll make a lot of friends in time, don't worry. And I bet by the time you leave XIC you'll be pretty nostalgic. As of now, the only people i know are those who sit next to me in class, whom i converse with in very broken hindi, if it's any consolation. :)
ReplyDeletehey rajatri...lovely post. ill blog roll you ok?..and somehow i know exactly how you feel. although i am still in my own city i miss xaviers' in spite of all the horrible things that we said. and you ll be just fine.dont try too hard. you ll find yourself again..in a new way..lots of love..<3..ishita.
ReplyDeleteps...keep filling up this space.keep writing.theres just so much honesty in your writing..<3
hey sweetheart....
ReplyDeletefirst of all i miss u....
gud to see a post from you....
jus wanna say..tht its jus d beginning..in no time u will b bak to ur normal cheerful self..!!
whneva u r down jus think of dis-
"nobody said its gonna b easy,they jus promised it wud be worth"...keep smiling...nd keep writing...luv
Its still early days. I know that its just a 10 month course, but nonetheless ull grow around all of it and things will become just the way u want them to be..
ReplyDeleteRajinder!!No matter what people say or how they behave it is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS hard to let go of home!!Some of us are lucky, we go through the experience early enough when it doesn't sting as much!Trust me, when I left 2yrs ago, I had the same insecurities and fears and then you grow to love the place you're in and you wonder why you ever doubted wanting to be there!I'm sure Joyo will tell u the same...at least you're only a few hundred miles away...you can hop on a plane/train anytime and go home =( but trust me...in a month or so...you'll be your lovely self again and you will learn to love Mumbai the way you love Cal!!And I'm not kidding when I say that...if I can fall in love with a place as boring and dull as Iowa! You WILL love Mumbai!! And always remember...we all love you and we're only a phone call/wall post/skype date away!! =D
ReplyDeleteRahi,
ReplyDeleteI felt the same way when I first came to Delhi. A friend told me that it's how we deal with the unknown that defines our character.
I know you're going to settle down eventually and make Bombay fall in love with you. Just hang in there. Hugs.
Trish.
Are you going to stop here with your blog posts then?
ReplyDeleteTake full advantage of this emotion that you bear. Don't make a mock out of starting a blog.