I GOT A FEELING

There wasn’t any particular reason; there was NO reason but... after a long time a song I heard for the first time brought tears to my eyes. I dint even understand the lyrics but the music, the sound, the rhythm was so beautiful that I felt overwhelmed. I can only describe it as the power of music ( it could also be the effect of Bose speakers).

Why is it that when you want to control your laughter, all you can remember is more funny moments and incidents that make it so difficult to control laughter. On the other hand, when you are sad those funny moments are overpowered by the tears. Sad thoughts just filled my head. How much time and effort I took to put that Kajal and now it’s all smudged thanks to the wet eyes. Damn!

Why was I feeling like that? It all started with the horrible news of Candy’s death. Candy was a wonderful dog living in Nerul. Candy was adorable, may you rest in peace. I can’t imagine life without Buddy (my brother) and my nieces and nephews: Hippie, Bouncer, Mojo, Kinky, Nishi, Droopy, Tiny and Cuddly. Those innocent eyes, the pure love (especially when there is food in your hand) and the wagging tails, I love them.

XIC, how could I not mention you? You have given me wonderful friends whom I adore very much. They have accepted me for who I am or so I think: A little bossy, always being mean, continuously nagging and cribbing, saying whatever I think and feel like (you could call it verbal diarrhoea) , keeping people awake because I don’t feel sleepy, bugging people-- just to name a few of my idiosyncrasies. Well my biggest problem in the world is I do things for ‘fun’. I never mean to upset or harm anyone because I feel worst bout it. I hate unpleasantness and fighting and argueing (pronounced: Orgue-ing: In British Accent).

I happened to go through facebook when I came across my friends parents 25th anniversary photographs. It was on the same day as my mommy and daddy's. I felt flustered. Both my sister and I were stuck in Mumbai on their special day and we couldn’t do anything. Wish Mumbai and Kolkata was walking distance or even an hour away (that is quite nearby according to Mumbai’s standard of distance). Love has been happening for my parents like crazy, I feel like just hugging them and not leaving them.

My sister hasn’t visited home in 6 months.She is leaving in few hours :(. Lucky her. Even though I did go to surprise my parents once in 6 months I am all restless, can’t wait to go home. Friends, Betsy (my car), home, my room, the pampering, the Christmas with my family (the 4 of us + Buddy) with wine and cake...oh why is time passing so slowly? There is a void , there is a ‘feeling’ of something is missing or in my mother’s words “Feeling sorry for yourself”. All I want to feel right now is loved.

That amazing song got over and then there was ‘Sheela ki jawaani’... those sad thoughts just vanished. Immediately I was out of control once again. I couldn’t stop dancing. It was just another ‘feeling’. A feeling of shaking my hips, booty and the shimmy. The pursuit of happiness that not too many days left for home. I am so lucky to have the most awesomest and coolest local guardians Mish and Gev who definitely bring happiness to me and makes my stay in this Mumbai worthwhile.

It’s amazing how we human beings are so full of emotions and confused most of the times. I ‘feel’ jealous of OUR puppies. They sleep while we stay up long nights doing our assignments. They don’t have to earn money for a living. Food is free. Life is so good for them.

My teacher's always said I am a 'happy child' but every dog has its days. ;)

"Well does life get any better, more yesterday than today

  How I thought the sun would shine tomorrow

  But it rained..."

Minutes of my precious time with XIC in October :)

For the last 20 years October meant Puja holidays and the 5 days meant fun fun fun and more fun fun fun. The new clothes, covering North Calcutta by foot, getting exhausted, the lights, the shine, the sound of dhak.

Pujo was very different. Ofcourse I started 1st October by missing class. I just dint wake up after the assignment exhaustion. Everyone went out to celebrate post submission while I sat home with Rimsha at Marine Lines (it felt like both of us are the children of the home and our parents Apu, Ash, Ambar and Shubhi left us). We had the house to ourselves. We fell asleep mentally prepared that we would wake up for class but to our utter dismay we fell asleep without setting the alarm. We both woke up together (actually i woke up because Rimsh pulled my hair while searching for her phone) and we realised we were a little too late. It had been 1 hour into the class. Mind you, we both had 100 % attendance till then in this module.Then Hem and Sharon came to meet us... love you 3 so so much.

Well October was quite eventful. Missed mommy next day. It was her birthday. Got an opportunity to visit Privy.Twas fun with Hem, Rim, Whea and Ankit. Quite short notice. Hype was so much fun. Had a good good night with Prats, Amber,Gits, Iqqu, Keith, Aakash and the others. Had an amazing time being a part of Kopals birthday. Prats I love our so interesting conversations. Then ofcourse Pujo, ashtami was an off. 7 of us: Rimsh, Shubhangini, Aiswarya, Apurva, Ridhi, Sakshi and I went to Juhu for some amazing bhog and then it was Lokhandwala. After stuffing our faces with luchi aloo and misti we started our dhunuchi naach at Abhijeet's Pujo. Oh we were very much appreciated. The night ended at Ikku's house. Dancing to two-steps behind with Keith, watching Ikku my love dance and ofcourse getting to see My Sharona's face. Missed Rhea. We did subway for dinner... no vegetables double meat.

The next evening navami was not 'happening' but the night took a turn. A girls night, at home... lots of dancing till we fell flat. 'Where is...?' The next day was blah. Went and saw another Durga and I could only imagine how Kolkata would be on dashami. Everything over, the excitement etc. After Dassera, all i can remember is assignments. Nerul was the best 'get away'. Dancing at Prateeks: Manav, Rimsh, Ridhi and I were also so much fun. Rock bottom and Apna Dhaba was it? We have to have another night with Aditi Shishoo, Henna Sharma, Shubhi Sharma, Poo (only after ghar ka khana) etc.Pizza Hut and Crepe Station with my people. Madagascar ice-cream with Pallo, chai with Manav and other special moments.

Everyone is talking about how excited they are about going home. "Going home" buzz makes me miss home and i just feel like packing my bags and leaving. I miss you Kolkata and all those who have gone back to Kolkata. I am jealous of you. 

Oh before I sign out I have to share my happiness of not being in the hostel for 1 month. I have the most amazing friends who have made me NOT want to go back to hostel and makes me feel like I am home whenever I am with them. Thank you Marine Liners: Pwincess, Apu for taking care, Shubhi my puppy, Blair. Thank you Pasta Lane Hotties: Whea, Pallo, Suckshu and Anku...Tu cheese bari hai mast a mast ;).

Ridhi, Riddhi and Prateek-- How could i possibly forget the 'action-packed' night ;) (humming Sarkai lo khatiyan)

PRing for Nitish Kumar, I enjoyed working with you: Shivani, Oindrila, Kopsie darling and Roma.Did Nitin Noronia or whatever meet Nitish ultimately? The event planning group. Could I even ask for a better group? Continuously imitating Siya's nasal voice, Taking Rims trip...Hem I miss you. Working and sleeping together with Rhea ;) Ash and Apu. Cherie LuMuKu all the time... <3 RIMSHA BAHL I enjoyed spending every moment with you this last month.

This blog seems to be mainly for people who have been such an important part of me presently. All you should know:

"Walk away, if you want to. It's ok, if you need to. You can run, but you can never hide. 
Whatever you do, I'll be two steps behind you
Wherever you go, and I'll be there to remind you
that it only takes a minute of your precious time
to turn around and I'll be two steps behind."

<3 <3 <3

Fine, now be mean all of you and leave me alone in Mumbai and go away :'( :'(

ALL SMILES :)

'SURPRISE'... mostly make people happy. I landed up in Kolkata to surprise my family.As soon as my plane landed,i had a big grin. Those 4 days of drooling, slothing around and driving just dashed by. Somewhere deep inside, i missed people in Mumbai. Strange but its true.

Mumbai ain't all that bad.September began on a good note. The first week was a super duper one. I took a night-out from hostel. I met Mr.Chirag Madan of Park Hotel. That bum couldn't find a better time to leave Mumbai for Hyderabad. Coming to Nerul meant catching up with him and our random conversations. 'Chirag, I am impressed with your scooty riding skills'!

That night i head out for Geet Castalinho's birthday. We danced and swayed to old love songs till morning. With hardly any sleep-- Mondegars super duper breakfast still managed to bring a 'smile' on our faces. It was start of September.

One element in the definition of public relation is 'relation with the public' that means people. I think I possess that quality because i sure have been able to make some great relations. My 'hot' friends with 'spiced-up' life: Sharon-ah and Beli. You should see them eating chillies. My Colaba neighbours- Kalpana Building (including Ruby too). My favourite 'play-mate' ;) : Whee-a. The marine liners: ( those BIG FAT FUGLY RATS are NOT included). My loves of Worli Naka. The sexy dancers of Mahalaxmi. Mr. TOO good. Rimsh <3, Iq-rah and her touch ;),Hemlata ;) The snooty: Tanvi, The bong-connections (it is such a pleasure to talk in Bengali in Mumbai :)), Nimboo paani, My crazy love: PP, the computer wizard etc. Damn there are so many more names i could add... The Wesley Church hostelites, the whole PR Batch actually.

The cheap Baghdadi meals. The walk from Colaba to Marine drive. Singing away, the breeze on your face, the drizzles, the 'hypothetical situation' game, the frantic phone calls and the cab night charges. Watching Step-Up 3D. The crazy dancing at Shiros with my girls. The 3 a.m. Bade Miyan Roti and chicken Bhuna. The body ache. Family lunch followed by a long snooze. Crazy weekend.

Looking at 'issues' in a positive light: I definitely wouldn't have been able to enjoy such crazy night outs if it wasn't for my 9:30 p.m curfew. I really enjoy the days when I don't need to run to make it back on time :).

Those 4 days in Kolkata slipped by but time seems to move a little slowly for me now here in Mumbai. I am eagerly waiting for December. I can go back home to my family and celebrate Christmas with wine and cake. Reunite with other special people in my life. The thought of it brings 'all smiles' to my face.

The thought of whole lot of assignments and long hours of lecture yet to come is making me yawn. Somebody,please WAKE ME UP WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS.

Conceited, is it?

The Times said narcissistic syndrome is endemic and I don’t feel too well. I am definitely not one. I have been quite nervous about this presentation I must admit. I frantically called up my dad and told him how much i mumble, my voice quivers. I feel as if I have no control of what I am saying. All daddy had to tell her not so little girl, I have always been jealous of you. You speak so well when you do all your plays, you know your lines so well and you say you are nervous? Then i realised, when I do a play, i don’t get to see the audience unlike right now. My topic for the presentation is IN MY LIFE. I am going to take you to the start. The origin of my name. ‘Rajatri’. Combination of Jatrik and Rajashri, I have a unique name. My family consists of my parents, my parents other daughter and Buddy my brother. Buddy is a Doberman but he surely doesn’t behave like one. We refer to him as a doberMOUSE. I have the coolest parents ever. Hard working and at the same time they always make time for us. Though there is a role reversal. My parents are home and my sister and I are hardly at home. We try and eat our meals together, sometimes we simply sing together. My dad and sister have an ear for music unlike me. They harmonise so well whereas I always sing out of tune. That’s about my family.

Born and brought up in Kolkata amidst puchka’s and rosogollas (thus it won’t be too hard for you to guess why I am round too.) In school and college, I was Jack of all trades, master of none. I used to swim, I played basketball, I rowed one year. I went for camps and treks. I did elocution and of course I did few plays. In college I even played women’s football, cricket and throwball (I have never allowed my weight to come in the way). But my passion is theatre. I worked with this group called The Action Players (TAP). Tap is a group of deaf actors and I have been a voicing actor. Working with the deaf was an extra ordinary experience. I picked up the ASL and ISL. Believe you me, working with them was a different ball game altogether. They are fabulous actors. I used to spend so much time rehearsing, that when I went back home and spoke to hearing people I automatically used to sign and talk to them. My sister never failed to tell me ‘I can hear’. Another one of my favourite plays was this production done by this boy’s school called St.James school.  They put up Madagascar. I played Gloria, the hippo. Oh I loved the attention I received since I happened to be the only girl in the vicinity.

My favourite artist is Michael Jackson, the most popular man ever. I remember as a kid, I used to try and imitate him. I like variety. From the Beatles to hot Jim Morrison to sexy Shakira to loud David Guetta’s. I enjoy listening to them all and ofcourse dancing to them.

I love food. As a child I thought I’d grow up to be a gourmet but I cannot eat too much spice.  Food reminds me of Kolkata. From the Bengali specialities, to Tangra Chinese, to Park street Bar-b-que chinese to the hole in the wall dhaba’s to the wayward tea stalls. Oh how could I forget the mishtis? The famous mishti doi. Well the thought of it is making me hungry.  And here I am in Mumbai, eating the dabbawalla’s vegetarian meal which includes 3 kinds of pulses. Good Lord, where did I go wrong?

When writing a speech about my life I realised it is so tough since i couldn’t JFGI (Just freaking google it)... but more about me. I can be quite active when I want to be, otherwise one would see the Kolkata’s laid back attitude in me. Sitting and chatting with people is an attractive past-time for me. I enjoy spending time with my friends. I am quite amicable. Here I can quote my class 12 class teacher. She complained to my mother “She is so naughty, her skin is as thick as a rhinoceros but she is such a happy child’. Well I kind of agree. I like fun and frolic. I can be wild and whacky too. Definitely not pugnacious. 

I know i am very down to earth and broad-minded.

I loved my freedom in Kolkata. I always had my baby, Betsy my little red Alto to accompany me. Kolkata being a small city, travelling is easy and quick. Now I am in hostel. Still looking out for the charm in a hostel life. Trying to cope up with my 9:30 curfew.  I miss Kolkata but I have to admit Mumbai is so much more bearable after meeting and getting to know most of you. Mumbai is not treating me all that badly. I am looking forward to my Mumbai times.  I want to conclude by saying,

‘I am born to be wild and now I am living to outgrow it.’ 

Irony of life.

I still remember always wanting to go 'out' for my under graduation. I knew I was going to leave Kolkata. I had the confidence in me, that I would have no problem what-so-ever in adjusting with anyone and anywhere. :) After school, Xavier's Mumbai did not happen for me. I was quite upset. Bangalore was calling but I ignored the call. I decided to stay back in Xavier's Cal. Initially I hated it. Imagine sitting in a horrible yellow classroom in the evening while the rest of Kolkata (the normal people) have finished their respective classes / work and are getting ready for their evening pass-times. Simply disgusting and unfair.

Believe it or not I somewhat miss being a Xaverian. I miss the canteen, the library, the sports room, basketball practices, Delights, the Xerox shop adjacent to delights, Classic Stores to name a few. I surely made some uber cool friends no doubt.

Now I am in Mumbai. I wanted to be here so desperately 3 years ago. Few days ago when I actually walked into Xaviers to attend my lectures, I thought to myself how unbelievable this was. I so wanted to be a part of this and now I actually am. The canteen is great . People in my course are fun. Made friends (been quite stuck up though). Nevertheless I am proud to be in Xavier Institute of Communications (XIC). I am now a Xavierite. Happy ?  Ofcourse I am.

If something has changed after joining Public Relation and Corporate Communication, it is definitely my PR skills and socialising nature. Its like it has gone missing. I hardly socialise.I know people of my course ONLY. I know most of you reading this  wont believe me but its true.

Mumbai made me realise how much I miss Kolkata. There is no place like home. As a child this statement did not mean much when I watched The Wizard of Oz but today it makes so much sense to me. Where is that confidence? What happened to that ‘socialite’? I think its all back home- in the ‘City of Joy’.